Of MCO and Mother's Day

So apparently it's Mother's Day today. With the MCO, wfh and the fasting month, I have not been in touch with the dates especially since I am not one who is good with dates to begin with. I have a history of even forgetting my wedding anniversaries year after year, I am being reminded that this month would be another anniversary that we will be celebrating again.

But back to Mother's Day. This year must be the most low key, lonely feeling ever. I mean, we have just went out yesterday after being locked in our own condo for almost 2 months and I don't really have the energy to go out again today. With social distancing all around, eating out is not a choice I'd easily make and looking at the atmosphere yesterday, it would be quite a hassle getting a table, having to register our names, temperature and a lonely atmosphere in restaurants as everybody will look like they don't even want to be out in the open.

So, where was my sahur-in-bed? And I am still cooking tonight, though I am secretly wishing I don't have to. We've been buying good stuff for our groceries as cooking can be satisfying but there will be days when I just don't feel like it. Grab food is crap and when we do order from them, we keep buying the same food. So what is so special about today?

The good side of things is that I love being a mom. I don't think I had ever made that conscious decision to want to be a mom, I mean I don't remember making plans on what I want to do in my parenting and I've been learning as I go along. That's quite a gamble right, not really knowing what is right or what I should do in my path to raise my children, hoping they will turn out fine.

After almost a decade and seeing some positive outcome from years of "investment" into character building on the children, there have been many proud moments which I thought was done right from the beginning. To be honest, I didn't have that great of a childhood when I was little and though there were happy moments, I wanted to have better control of myself as a mother.

But everything cannot be just coming from me, having a wonderful partner to shoulder the burden together is one achievement that's better than I ever imagined. I guess being a mother is rewarding in itself and I hope they maintain this way, always knowing that they can come to me for comfort and happy to be together, doing things together.

It feels great to reminisce on our memories thus far and so much more meaningful that our wedding anniversary also falls in the same month. 

For me, life needs to be lived. So if I gotta cook tonight, I shall. 

from a good start to the Monopoly game, to being beaten without mercy by a child -
it's still a satisfying experience.

Best,

💋JJo

Of MCO and social distancing, a mum worries.

2020 seem to look a little scary, one where a lot of us would question what the future holds for our children. Parents like me who have invested all of their time and financial planning for a strong future for our children can only wonder what else holds for them, what with the already challenging opportunity to obtain jobs, where it's always who you know vs how well you do in your education, the global warming and now with the bad political scenario in the country, robbing future generations the security that a lot of us have enjoyed over the last 3 decades.

But, I feel that we are a strong and stable society whereby we don't really go down to the streets in protest of every issue and go by our own day-to-day routine, adapting to changes and direction from the government.

Finally went out after over 50 days of MCO (movement control order) which has changed to conditional MCO earlier this week with the family. It's going to be a slow recovery for the nation especially since we are governed by the people we did not choose to govern the country.

Went to a nearby mall, Gardens and saw how different the atmosphere is there compared to the Mid Valley mall just opposite from it. Yeah, for some of us, we live comfortably in this bubble but we won't be able to protect our children all the time from hate, racial issues and what society deem as normal. Some of us don't fall under that norm and I do worry about how well my children will flourish under the culture that we don't quite fit in.

I just feel the need to write again. I've lost count of the number of days we were couped up in our condo since the MCO was announced 18 March 2020 and since working from home, doing scores of online shopping, it's ashamed that I let the days go by without documenting my thoughts now that I don't work in a "rushed" and stressful atmosphere. Things are more manageable when you don't need to rush in the morning getting ready for work when you waste at least 1 1/2 hours until you arrive at the office, then another 2 hours at least to get back home to get ready for dinner, family time and chores.

The outing to Gardens today was great as I experienced a new "norm" where you don't browse unnecessarily to shop but enter to get exactly what you need and leave. I mean, shouldn't that be the way? - to go out only when necessary, to shop only what you need and to use up meaningful time.

My thoughts are jumbled up with many things and there are limited things that I can write about. One thing's for sure, it surely feels nice to pen my thoughts again in this private blog.

And oh, ever since I started a new job in 2018, I no longer wear a watch. With a smart phone always in my hands and the sudden discomfort of wearing a watch while typing on the laptop made me realise there are so many things I don't really need to own. So, perhaps I should change the header of this blog but it's quite a good depiction of having to choose what you can own. Life is a choice and we keep making choices in whatever we do daily.

Best,

💋JJo