Of MCO and Mother's Day

So apparently it's Mother's Day today. With the MCO, wfh and the fasting month, I have not been in touch with the dates especially since I am not one who is good with dates to begin with. I have a history of even forgetting my wedding anniversaries year after year, I am being reminded that this month would be another anniversary that we will be celebrating again.

But back to Mother's Day. This year must be the most low key, lonely feeling ever. I mean, we have just went out yesterday after being locked in our own condo for almost 2 months and I don't really have the energy to go out again today. With social distancing all around, eating out is not a choice I'd easily make and looking at the atmosphere yesterday, it would be quite a hassle getting a table, having to register our names, temperature and a lonely atmosphere in restaurants as everybody will look like they don't even want to be out in the open.

So, where was my sahur-in-bed? And I am still cooking tonight, though I am secretly wishing I don't have to. We've been buying good stuff for our groceries as cooking can be satisfying but there will be days when I just don't feel like it. Grab food is crap and when we do order from them, we keep buying the same food. So what is so special about today?

The good side of things is that I love being a mom. I don't think I had ever made that conscious decision to want to be a mom, I mean I don't remember making plans on what I want to do in my parenting and I've been learning as I go along. That's quite a gamble right, not really knowing what is right or what I should do in my path to raise my children, hoping they will turn out fine.

After almost a decade and seeing some positive outcome from years of "investment" into character building on the children, there have been many proud moments which I thought was done right from the beginning. To be honest, I didn't have that great of a childhood when I was little and though there were happy moments, I wanted to have better control of myself as a mother.

But everything cannot be just coming from me, having a wonderful partner to shoulder the burden together is one achievement that's better than I ever imagined. I guess being a mother is rewarding in itself and I hope they maintain this way, always knowing that they can come to me for comfort and happy to be together, doing things together.

It feels great to reminisce on our memories thus far and so much more meaningful that our wedding anniversary also falls in the same month. 

For me, life needs to be lived. So if I gotta cook tonight, I shall. 

from a good start to the Monopoly game, to being beaten without mercy by a child -
it's still a satisfying experience.

Best,

💋JJo

Of MCO and social distancing, a mum worries.

2020 seem to look a little scary, one where a lot of us would question what the future holds for our children. Parents like me who have invested all of their time and financial planning for a strong future for our children can only wonder what else holds for them, what with the already challenging opportunity to obtain jobs, where it's always who you know vs how well you do in your education, the global warming and now with the bad political scenario in the country, robbing future generations the security that a lot of us have enjoyed over the last 3 decades.

But, I feel that we are a strong and stable society whereby we don't really go down to the streets in protest of every issue and go by our own day-to-day routine, adapting to changes and direction from the government.

Finally went out after over 50 days of MCO (movement control order) which has changed to conditional MCO earlier this week with the family. It's going to be a slow recovery for the nation especially since we are governed by the people we did not choose to govern the country.

Went to a nearby mall, Gardens and saw how different the atmosphere is there compared to the Mid Valley mall just opposite from it. Yeah, for some of us, we live comfortably in this bubble but we won't be able to protect our children all the time from hate, racial issues and what society deem as normal. Some of us don't fall under that norm and I do worry about how well my children will flourish under the culture that we don't quite fit in.

I just feel the need to write again. I've lost count of the number of days we were couped up in our condo since the MCO was announced 18 March 2020 and since working from home, doing scores of online shopping, it's ashamed that I let the days go by without documenting my thoughts now that I don't work in a "rushed" and stressful atmosphere. Things are more manageable when you don't need to rush in the morning getting ready for work when you waste at least 1 1/2 hours until you arrive at the office, then another 2 hours at least to get back home to get ready for dinner, family time and chores.

The outing to Gardens today was great as I experienced a new "norm" where you don't browse unnecessarily to shop but enter to get exactly what you need and leave. I mean, shouldn't that be the way? - to go out only when necessary, to shop only what you need and to use up meaningful time.

My thoughts are jumbled up with many things and there are limited things that I can write about. One thing's for sure, it surely feels nice to pen my thoughts again in this private blog.

And oh, ever since I started a new job in 2018, I no longer wear a watch. With a smart phone always in my hands and the sudden discomfort of wearing a watch while typing on the laptop made me realise there are so many things I don't really need to own. So, perhaps I should change the header of this blog but it's quite a good depiction of having to choose what you can own. Life is a choice and we keep making choices in whatever we do daily.

Best,

💋JJo

Cheers to a positive 2017

 

After that dinner last night to close the challenging year together, I woke up this morning feeling sad because nothing is changed and we're all facing tough characters to deal with whose demands we always try to fulfill the best we can but we always know the challenges that lie ahead.

It's great to have a few others stand by with you but in the end, we all gotta face our fears alone individually. And it has always been that way that I'm usually the person who is made responsible for everyone's shit. 

I feel that coming into the new year there would be reflections on all parties. But we are always left to be blamed when things go wrong. And that, left me truly frustrated and sad. 

I don't like it one bit that I have to simply accept because I have no other better choice right now. I'm not born to just accept. I deal with my challenges and I take actions to rectify it. Unfortunately in this instance, I can't or I will face even tougher challenges. I'm stumped on early new year morning, which I shouldn't, because starting the new year on this note is not the way it's supposed to be.

I can't help it.

Sigh,

💋JJo

New App to keep me posting entries

 

Been a lazy bum letting this beautiful blog empty for the last 2 years. There's so many things for me to write yet I'm always plagued by the little time I have not wanting to even look at the computer screen after my constant long day at work. To make it less helpful, the blogger app on the iPhone is useless. 

Just recently I found a new app that could make posting entries from the phone much more convenient and so here it is. One needs a change before another change can come through. It took me this trip to Gold Coast for me to look for an avenue to pen my heart out. It's been way too long and twitter may just not cut it anymore.

This is where my heart is and what a perfect choice it is.

Feeling awesome,

💋JJo

Driving in Gold Coast

 

What I love about driving in Gold Coast is the fact that everyone respects the law and other drivers. I've only driven for 5 days during the vacation and it's a general observation of these facts. They don't flout the speed limit and no aggressive driving unlike in KL. After returning from our vacation, we went on a 50km drive back to Sepang to get chocolates and I must say that I hated the drive - too many aggressive drivers trying to scare me off the speeding lane when I was already doing 110km/h and a little bit more, at short stretches. People didn't care about doing above speed limits and they didn't bother about the safety of others.

In Gold Coast, I was afraid to speed nor pull out any aggressive stunts as everyone seem to be calm and happy to observe the speed limits. Malaysians are quick to complain about just 110km/h limits in most parts of our highways because they drive fast cars but when I drove in Gold Coast I started to appreciate our high limits as they were mostly doing 80-90km/h and implementation was good.

I also noticed that the cars automatically stop at zebra crossings that do not even have crossing lights for pedestrians. This, I only saw in Switzerland where they'd stop at any zebra crossings, braking even when I haven't stepped on the roadside curb, in anticipation that I'd cross the road. In Gold Coast, I felt as safe crossing the road as I did in Switzerland. Things that I miss when I'm back home and I wish to return to real "civilisation".

No tolls either. I'm grateful and all for the country I live in but I want it to be better. Don't really like the atmosphere today and don't really want my children to grow up surrounded by such negative energy. But coming to choices, what choices do I have? The more we travel, the more we seek for change. Though change is scary for many, it's part of my birth sign. I yearn for change. I love change. So what's next?

Sincerely,

💋JJo

Gold Coast wave

 

We went for our first real family trip after 4 years with not much expectations except for a nice Christmas vacation away from the country. The thing is, I fell in love with the destination after spending 5 days there - not the best gauge for such a short stay but seriously, we love it. 

I've been to slow and relax Switzerland and busy bustling London and Paris but none of them compare to the calm energy of Gold Coast. I've been to the beaches in Phuket, Koh Pangan, Phi Phi Island, Koh Samui and Bali but none of them are as perfect as the beaches at Gold Coast, and none are as relaxing. I mean I've got little children, we walk a lot on this trip and it's hard to describe the beautiful weather that's just perfect - not too hot, not extremely cold and super friendly people all around where language is also not a barrier. There are no peddlers selling stuff I don't need or bug me when I'm relaxing, and I feel safe and calm in the slow atmosphere where even the drivers do not go beyond the speed limits. My first thought when I saw patrol cars was - what is the biggest crime here in Gold Coast? People are so calm, relax and happy, happy people don't commit crime, do they?

I have lots to jot down and I'll segregate them by pieces. All in all, I've not really come back home although I am home. 

Much love,

💋JJo

Customary Intro

This blog is just meant for fun. I never meant to open up a blog, until I was plagued  by a recent dilemma of either getting an expensive bag or a watch for my birthday. Even googled it up to see if there are others like me in the same situation and searching for an answer on the net. 

I was shocked to see so many in the same dilemma, probably not really getting the right answer. That got me to think that I should do up a blog, on life's questions and the answers that a lot of us seek - some of us want to hear what we want to hear while some of us are sincerely searching for a clear direction. Many of us though, are totally lost... we have our wants and we can't differentiate it from our needs.

It's a common thing in life. Questions and the choices we can make. There will always be a choice and we will always be forced to make a choice. What we need to learn is to live with the choice that we made. 

Over the years, I have seen that and been disappointed to note that many people I know, those even closest to me, do not have the strength to be responsible and accountable for the choice they make. It's probably normal around us yet the bold and straight-forward side of me refuse to accept them. There are boundaries of survival be it at work, in a friendship, in a relationship, etc, but you can't possibly think that you will always get away with not being responsible for everything that has happened. 

Hence, why I think I shall pen all my thoughts on this blog, on the choices. I don't think I am that privileged to have them all and I can only choose one, to have control in life, to learn about control and to learn from the choices I make.

So there.